When Christmas isn't a Holiday

"It's not about what you get, it's what you give." That's what my parents always told me. Growing up, that lesson was water off a duck's back; however, this phrase took on a whole new meaning for me this season. In one of my first posts, I mentioned that while I live in a low-income household, I have more than a couple of affluent relatives on the other side of my family.  This has given me the opportunity  to sample both sides of the social class spectrum. There are times,many of them, where the difference in our living styles is more obvious than others, but over the years I have found that this difference is more obvious during the holidays.

"It's not about what you get, it's what you give."

The harsh reality for many families is that they don't have anything to give. Some don't have anything to keep. With the copious amount toy drives, food drives, and bell-ringing Santas in front of Walmart that surface this time of year it's easy to claim that during this season, the poor are far from dismissed. But I feel like one common misconception of charity during the holidays is that the wealthy contributions to the poor "make" their Christmases. They don't. A Christmas tree with or without presents under it hurts just the same if you aren't the one putting those presents there. This is the season of giving. People living in poverty know that just as much as anyone else and when they can't give, it stings. It always stings. I have seen my mother drive herself in deeper debt because the idea of not getting her children Christmas presents filled her with a kind of sadness no paycheck could rectify. The past 18 years have consisted of profuse apologies on Christmas day and wounded glances at the gifts my father sent. I imagine that there are other low-income families who have had similar experiences.

Christmas is a celebration of prosperity. Those in the upper and middle class can afford to buy gifts for most members of their immediate relatives, various extended family members, and a single parent household that goes to their same church. Meanwhile, those in the lower class are either exhausted or exploited or both. This season is a spit in the face to all those who break their backs to make ends meet but don't get paid enough to buy anything other than what is necessary.

I'm not trying to be the Grinch here. Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. But I recognize that what makes Christmas a positive season for me is the fact that this is a time of year that has always been funded for me. That doesn't mean Christmas is all about money. Family, kinship and goodwill are all virtues that make Christmas what it is, but these are parts of a whole. For many families there are parts of this whole missing. That's why I believe that if there's anything that we should give during these season, at the very least it should be thanks. Because so many of us have so much more than others.