The Art of Reflection

Privilege. I have it. You have it. Now what?

I've come to realize that I've drilled the importance of self-reflection into this blog, but not once have I described what self-reflection is, or what it looks like in the context of privilege. I'm going to try to fix that as best as I can.

Self-reflection, in layman's terms, is "meditation or serious thought about one's character, actions, and motives." It's taking a moment in your life to pause and critically contemplate the nature of your life, your self, and your actions. In a culture where we are all about self-validation, all about instant gratification, and life is constantly on the go, go, go, we have reached a destitute poverty of self-reflectors. Its gotten to a point where we don't even know what it looks like anymore. We don't even know where to begin.

Is self-reflecting self questioning?

Is it investigating? Excavating?

How long does it take?

Ten minutes?

Ten years?

I think the answer varies from person to person, but reflection in the context of privilege, in my opinion, is mostly based on observations that lead to an irreversible sort of awareness. It's an everlasting process. With different experiences, you become aware of different kinds of privilege. For example, I'd never really thought of able-bodied privilege until I started writing for this blog.

The real challenge comes when we start to deny the privilege that we have discovered, when we blow off multiple observations we've made as irrelevant to the conversation of unconscious bias.

A great example of the self-reflection process can be read in this article from the Huffington Post.

Gloria Atanmo exemplifies what it is to critically dissect observed disparities and sort them into privileges she has, many of which (such as African-American Privilege) she'd never consider a privilege previously .

Self-reflection varies on the person of course. What is reflection to me, to Atanmo, or her editor, could be entirely different from somebody else's "aha!" moment in privilege.

So what is self-reflection to you? Have you had any big "aha" moments worth that completely shifted your understanding of privilege?

Feel free to share in the comments below!

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Comic by Toby Morris Perfectly Demonstrates Privilege

                        

In his comic "On a Plate," Auckland-based artist Toby Morris demonstrates both the effects and the causes of class privilege by illustrating a side by side comparison of "Richard," a child from an upper middle-class family, and "Paula" who comes from a low-income family.

It's often argued that success isn't about who you are, but how hard you work. While those coming from financially sound families do have an upper-leg, the less fortunate ones have the opportunity to reach this same level through hard work and a good education. After all, we aren't solely defined by our home life, and the differences it allows to our character is relatively small. The problem is, as this comic argues, "...over the years all these little differences, they start to add up, to build into something bigger." 

"On a Plate" accurately and profoundly expresses the implications of privilege. Closing these disparities isn't a matter of socialism, it's a matter of  rectifying the fact that "equal opportunity" doesn't exist in this society. 

Check out the whole comic here. 

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Economic Benefits of White Privilege

Privilege isn't usually isolated, many times, certain kinds of privilege are connected to others. White privilege, for example, connects to class privilege in many cases.This article breaks down information from the US Census Bureau and provides six easy-to-understand charts that illustrate six different building blocks in the bridge between white and class privilege.

See the full story on Upworthy.com

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When Christmas isn't a Holiday

"It's not about what you get, it's what you give." That's what my parents always told me. Growing up, that lesson was water off a duck's back; however, this phrase took on a whole new meaning for me this season. In one of my first posts, I mentioned that while I live in a low-income household, I have more than a couple of affluent relatives on the other side of my family.  This has given me the opportunity  to sample both sides of the social class spectrum. There are times,many of them, where the difference in our living styles is more obvious than others, but over the years I have found that this difference is more obvious during the holidays.

"It's not about what you get, it's what you give."

The harsh reality for many families is that they don't have anything to give. Some don't have anything to keep. With the copious amount toy drives, food drives, and bell-ringing Santas in front of Walmart that surface this time of year it's easy to claim that during this season, the poor are far from dismissed. But I feel like one common misconception of charity during the holidays is that the wealthy contributions to the poor "make" their Christmases. They don't. A Christmas tree with or without presents under it hurts just the same if you aren't the one putting those presents there. This is the season of giving. People living in poverty know that just as much as anyone else and when they can't give, it stings. It always stings. I have seen my mother drive herself in deeper debt because the idea of not getting her children Christmas presents filled her with a kind of sadness no paycheck could rectify. The past 18 years have consisted of profuse apologies on Christmas day and wounded glances at the gifts my father sent. I imagine that there are other low-income families who have had similar experiences.

Christmas is a celebration of prosperity. Those in the upper and middle class can afford to buy gifts for most members of their immediate relatives, various extended family members, and a single parent household that goes to their same church. Meanwhile, those in the lower class are either exhausted or exploited or both. This season is a spit in the face to all those who break their backs to make ends meet but don't get paid enough to buy anything other than what is necessary.

I'm not trying to be the Grinch here. Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. But I recognize that what makes Christmas a positive season for me is the fact that this is a time of year that has always been funded for me. That doesn't mean Christmas is all about money. Family, kinship and goodwill are all virtues that make Christmas what it is, but these are parts of a whole. For many families there are parts of this whole missing. That's why I believe that if there's anything that we should give during these season, at the very least it should be thanks. Because so many of us have so much more than others.

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If a Picture's Worth a Thousand Words...

I came across this picture a couple of months ago online and I thought it was priceless. Not priceless as in hilarious,  just...invaluably accurate. Although, not all of us are circles.This, of course isn't just limited to circles, I'm sure further down the wall there were some triangle holes and square holes,  maybe even some nonagonal holes, but the point is, it takes a certain quality to get past certain "walls."

These qualities are what we call privilege. Unlike in this picture,  it isn't so blatantly obvious who has what privilege, but I believe that it boils down the concept of privilege and some basic no no's pretty well.

Insisting something is easy is one of the worst ways that we can impose our privilege on others. Sometimes, it doesn't matter how hard you work or how confident in yourself you are. You will always be a triangle, and that hole will always be circular. There is nothing more aggrivating than having somebody insist that, regardless of your qualities or the issues you face in your life, you have the ability to simply walk through any obstacle in life as if they were tailor made to let you pass. It's like saying every person in every financial situation can afford to buy a house, or that anybody can get married without any issues, or that under every employer equal work means equal pay. None of these are true, but so many times we find ourselves slipping up by assuming that things are as easy for everyone else as they are for us.

Be mindful of who you are and what you say to others, because the cruel reality is that we don't have equal opportunity across the board. That's the basic concept of privilege. 

Sometimes that's a little hard to get, but I feel as if this comic does a really great job of simplifying it so I had to share.

Thoughts?

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How to Live in Privilege

As I've mentioned before, when it comes to my financial situation, I have what I consider the best of both worlds. My parents are divorced. My father makes a pretty good sum of money while my mother...not so much. Her annual income is anywhere from a quarter to an eighth of his and my dad makes a good sum of money, but no, an eighth of that does not make for comfortable living by any means.  But I feel lucky to come from homes that are so diverse. On one hand, my dad does a pretty good job of making sure that I have what I need even when my mom is struggling financially, on the other, I do know what it is to be without and this gives me a special empathy for the poor that only ones who have lived in poverty can obtain and I consider this a great gift, but I am willing to admit that I am privileged.

I am privileged.

There. I said it.

I am privileged because  despite the fact that I currently live in a low income household, I am well clothed, well fed, and well educated. Not only do I have the opportunity to these things, but my living conditions grants me the ability to take a hold of these opportunities and make them real. Not everybody has that. Some people can have the opportunity to be well educated, but they have disabilities or illnesses that make it extremely difficult to be receptive in a classroom setting. Some have the opportunity to have a roof over their head, clothes and food, but have to chose safety over comfort because they come from abusive homes. As a resident of a town as vanilla as Mesa, Arizona who is perfectly capable of reaping the benefits of being a resident of Arizona, I am very, very privileged.

But I wonder, is there a right way to live in privilege?  Is there something that we are supposed to do past acknowledging the fact that we are privileged? Are we supposed to help everybody who doesn't have the same privileges as us get a leg up in the world?

Earlier this week I was thinking about the unique position the diversity of my family has put me in, and I contemplated how I could make the very best of it. So I reflected not only on myself but the people around me who have privilege in so many aspects and I wondered, what are people with more supposed to do?

I think the answer is to give back. I don't think we're supposed to push our privileges away. Reaping the benefits of one's own privilege is fine, so long as you use these benefits to give back, more specifically, to give back to the ones who have less, who are under privileged.

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A Line in Sight

Last night I had the honor of hearing Nikki Giovanni speak to a crowd of about 1300 people at the Mesa Arts Center.  Her talk was punctuated by numerous comments that were both humorous and insightful.  Several of which I’m sure I’ll be mulling over for many, many months.  There was one thing she said though, that brought me so much hope.  Hope, is something I've been struggling with lately.

Before Giovanni’s talk, I attended a private reception in her honor.  A colleague and I were discussing how sometimes it feels as though things in the world are getting worse.  Beheadings are becoming an almost weekly occurrence.  In certain parts of the country, a black boy, or even girl, who happens to be near someone with a gun is suddenly in grave danger.  The Ebola epidemic is growing at an exponential rate and is showing no signs of slowing.  Nearly 300 Nigerian school girls are still missing - probably being raped and tortured while we all go on with our lives.  

My colleague and I wondered if it simply appeared that things were getting worse because of advances in social media coupled with the 24 hour news cycle.  He put forth the idea that maybe a hyper focus on certain new stories can actually perpetuate violence or wrong doing.  By the time we finished our conversation and got in line to get some food, a thoughtful, albeit weighty silence had come over us.

Then we went to hear Giovanni speak.  If you've never had the chance to hear her give a talk, find a way to do so before you die.  

She is hilarious, dead serious, and full of innovative ideas for addressing global and local problems - all while never taking herself too seriously.  She's an everyday woman who just happens to be armed to the tenacity to take on just about anything.  

After giving her talk, she and Dr. Lester sat on stage and he fielded questions from the audience and asked a few of his own as well.  One of the things he asked Giovanni was whether or not she thought we are losing our humanity.  She was quick to joke that to ask whether or not we’re losing our humanity assumed that we had some in the first place.

But after a few laughs she said something that brought me such peace.  She said that when people are running a race and get to the point where they can see the finish line, they often feel as if they should be running faster.  Since the finish is so close they begin to sense that maybe they should already be there, that they should already have arrived.

For the most part, we can see the finish line.  Yes, there are people who still hate homosexuals, Jews, people of color, and the like.  However, those individuals have found themselves living on the fringe of society.  Most people consider them to be extremists, disturbed, or grossly uninformed.  No doubt, there is still a lot of work to do in terms of bias, acceptance, and living in a world where people are not unsafe or unaccepted simply because of who they choose to marry or how they choose to love. 

But most of us want to get there.  

We can see the finish line.  Some people think we already crossed it and therefore just need to stop talking about it.  That's another post, but even in that dilemma there is hope.  We want the same thing.  We just disagree on how close we are to achieving it.  

I do believe that we still have a ways to go, but I can see the finish line.  Most of us can see the finish line.  That is a far, far cry from where we were as a nation just sixty years ago. 

Thank you, Nikki Giovani, for reminding me that even though we’re not there yet, we still have cause to celebrate.  

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