The Art of Reflection

Privilege. I have it. You have it. Now what?

I've come to realize that I've drilled the importance of self-reflection into this blog, but not once have I described what self-reflection is, or what it looks like in the context of privilege. I'm going to try to fix that as best as I can.

Self-reflection, in layman's terms, is "meditation or serious thought about one's character, actions, and motives." It's taking a moment in your life to pause and critically contemplate the nature of your life, your self, and your actions. In a culture where we are all about self-validation, all about instant gratification, and life is constantly on the go, go, go, we have reached a destitute poverty of self-reflectors. Its gotten to a point where we don't even know what it looks like anymore. We don't even know where to begin.

Is self-reflecting self questioning?

Is it investigating? Excavating?

How long does it take?

Ten minutes?

Ten years?

I think the answer varies from person to person, but reflection in the context of privilege, in my opinion, is mostly based on observations that lead to an irreversible sort of awareness. It's an everlasting process. With different experiences, you become aware of different kinds of privilege. For example, I'd never really thought of able-bodied privilege until I started writing for this blog.

The real challenge comes when we start to deny the privilege that we have discovered, when we blow off multiple observations we've made as irrelevant to the conversation of unconscious bias.

A great example of the self-reflection process can be read in this article from the Huffington Post.

Gloria Atanmo exemplifies what it is to critically dissect observed disparities and sort them into privileges she has, many of which (such as African-American Privilege) she'd never consider a privilege previously .

Self-reflection varies on the person of course. What is reflection to me, to Atanmo, or her editor, could be entirely different from somebody else's "aha!" moment in privilege.

So what is self-reflection to you? Have you had any big "aha" moments worth that completely shifted your understanding of privilege?

Feel free to share in the comments below!

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This Just In: Caitlyn Jenner Has Not Single-Handedly Ended Transphobia

A couple of weeks ago, I mused on the implications of Caitlyn Jenner's coming out as transgendered. At this point, it seems silly to not to do the same for her debut as a woman on Vanity Fair. Aside from a couple of ignorant tweets, Caitlyn's reception has overall been very supportive. Many are calling this transition a turning point for trans acceptance in society, however, that isn't entirely true.

The media coverage of Jenner's journey definitely has given the trans community its biggest spotlight in history, but "visibility is a double edged sword," says Kel Kray, Everyday Feminism contributor. In a society where "fitting in" is synonymous with "assimilation," it's important to watch bouts of awareness such as these with a weary eye, and to make use of them by clearing up some misconceptions while the iron is still hot. Kray's article "10 Things Trans Activists and Allies Need to Remember That Have Nothing to Do With Caitlyn Jenner" attempts to do exactly this.

Definitely worth a read. Check it out here.

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The Success of Gender Neutral Bathrooms

This week the white house opened up its first set of gender neutral bathrooms!

Those who don't identify with a defined gender often have trouble finding a comfortable, judgement free place to use the restroom. It's a plight no cisgendered person has ever experienced, but it seems, for the most part, that when people cant specifically catagorize a bathroom patron's gender, tery generally tend to treat them with animosity. When bathrooms are inclusive too all genders, the boy-girl rules don't matter, and the pressure comes off.

For many of us, this isn't considered to be "big news," but it should be, because it speaks volumes about the progress that is being made in the LGBTQ  movement. The white house's choice to add gender inclusive bathrooms to their blueprints is a symbolic leap taken by the Obama Administration in the name of protecting LGBTQ rights, and best of all, it's a permanent symbol that will remain in the white house even after President Obama leaves office.

Way to go, guys!

For more on the importance of gender inclusive bathrooms, check out this article from Slate.

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Jaden Smith Doesn't Care About Gender Roles, Here's Why You Shouldn't Either

This weekend everyone on my Facebook feed seemed to be up in arms over Jaden Smith wearing a dress to coachella. I don't really understand the cause of the hype. First of all, it looks more like an over sized T-shirt than a dress, and second, even if it was a dress, who cares?

Men always seem to be dressed in women's clothing under an absurdest context, but does it always have to be absurd? After all, society allows women to cross-dress with no problem. In the words of Mark Blechner, Author of Sex Changes: Transformations in Society and Psychoanalysis " Marlene Dietrich in a tuxedo was considered very erotic; Jack Lemmon in a dress was considered ridiculous." Similar reactions to cross dressing celebrities have been gauged throughout the years, but why? Why is there such backlash? Why do we have a reaction to it all?

NYU released an analysis of this issue in 2009, suggesting that it's all a symptom of a cultural stronghold of heteronormativity. 

Heteronormativity is defined as the social norm that suggests that people fall into distinct, complimentary genders. However, when people challenge the behaviors assigned to their sex, their gender roles, this in turn challenges a prevailing societal norm. When a celebrity breaks social norms there is often a widespread, out of proportion response.  That's why the internet practically blew up when Jennifer Lawrence cut her hair or Jaden Smith is seen in a not-so-masculine outfit. Our society conditions us to care more about it than it really matters.

But the reality is, people aren't solid blocks of gender. Females have masculine qualities, and males have feminine qualities. People cross the (imaginary)  line of boy-girl rules  on a day to day basis, and nothing bad has happened as a result of it. The negative repercussions start when the judgement comes in. It starts when hate is used to emphasize little differences in each other.

The concept of violating gender roles is the same as violating racial roles, or class roles. These designations do not exist, and we should not allow others to think so by consonantly reacting to the things that do not adhere to our norms. 

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Why Misgendering Somebody is Always the Opposite of Okay

I am cisgendered. Which means that I can never fully understand what it feels like to misgendered, or how detrimental this can be to somebody's self esteem, but I do know that being recognized as the correct gender is a huge issue within the transgender community. This is why it is so important to be diligent in recognizing and supporting those who are transgendered or transitioning, and the very best way to do that is with our words. Specifically gender pronouns.

As Everyday Feminism argues, using the correct gender pronouns is essential to becoming an effective ally for the LGBTQ community. People want to be called the right pronouns. It sounds like an easy concept to grasp, after all no "sir" wants to be called "ma'am" and the same applies in vic versa. But misgendering means a whole lot more to those who are transgendered. Like I said, I personally believe that this is a feeling no cisgendered person can come close to fully understanding, however, this is an article that really put things into perspective for me. It's called "What You Are Actually Saying When You Ignore Somebody's Gender Pronouns" Check it out!

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The Cisgender Privilege Checklist

Earlier this week, I was surfing the internet and came across the Cisgender Privilege Checklist released by Oberlin College. This is so important. We hear about white privilege, class privilege, and male privilege all the time, but too often is the full extent of gender privilege  truly considered. I could not imagine the amount of pain that comes with the feeling of being a prisoner in my own body. It's heartbreaking to think of, and what's worse is that people rarely ever think about it. Really, cisgendered privilege seems to be the redheaded stepchild of privilege discussions. And yet it's something that most of us have. We really need to step it up. Not only should we be more mindful of this privilege, but more active in the way we acknowledge it. The transgender community is so unapologetically discriminated against, if there's any minority group that deserves some extra compassion and empathy, it's them.

We'll dive deeper into cisgendered privilege in some later posts, but for now I highly encourage everyone to read through this checklist as well as this one, posted by ASU's Project Humanities. Both do an excellent job of describing all the bullets most of us dodge as cisgendered folk.

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The Myth of "Good Bias"

The salience of racial inequality has been always been questioned, perhaps now more than ever. While people are still debating over whether or not racism still exists in a post-segregation era, there is something that most Americans can get behind when discussing racial bias: it's wrong. Call me optimistic, but I'd guess that if I were to pull 10 people from my neighborhood aside and ask them if they thought it was okay to be a racist, they'd probably say no. In a post-slavery, post-segregation society, we know that it is socially unacceptable to judge people based on their nationality, ethnicity, or the color of their skin. We've got it.  Racism is bad.

Well, sometimes racism is bad.

There is good racism. Apparently.

Call me pessimistic,but I'd have to say that if I were to pull 10 people from my neighborhood aside and ask them to lay out both of their hands, I would still not have enough fingers to count the number of times that I have heard somebody make an argument for "good racism." Granted, it's never called racism, but it's the same concept. Racism is defined as,"the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race." As said before, most people consider it morally wrong to make these judgements to say that somebody is dirty, inferior or dangerous, but what about smart? What about being frugal or athletic? Is it wrong to assume good things about people because of their race? To be blunt, yes. All bias is harmful.

For example, the concept that Asians are smart is one of the most common forms of "good" racism or "good" bias. Most people would consider that an advantage, but check out this. Clearly being seen as superior in a certain field is not always an advantage. Even if it was, this judge. ment is still wrong because it assumes that others are inferior to one's ability because they are of a different race. It doesn't matter the ethnicity of who's getting discriminated against: black, white, Indian, Asian. Judging one's abilities and granting them opportunities based off of anything other than their performance is unfair, no exceptions.

All bias is bad bias. All bias needs to end.

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Bias Goes Beyond Race

Check this out.  Why?

It's another example of how society wants to define something that they don't get to define.  Yes, it may have been hard for her family to accept her the way she saw herself, but the reality is that "he" was a "she" and not amount of make-up or changes to hair can change that.

This article makes me think of babies who are born with two types of genitalia and the practice for several years was for doctor's to simply pick a gender and make the necessary assignments surgically.  The idea is that gender is only about body parts, that it has nothing to do with the soul or what "feels" right to us.  People who've been brave enough to challenge their own biology have made it clear that this thinking is flawed.

What's the take away? As a nation we shun things like arranged marriages because people should be able to choose to be with someone who they feel right about being with.  We don't have to defend why we don't want to marry one person, but do want to marry another.  However, what happens when someone feels something much, much stronger, like the sense that inside they're a female though their biology is make?  We try to discount those feelings because of our own discomfort.  

Bias is not just about race.  It's about so much more.

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If a Picture's Worth a Thousand Words...

I came across this picture a couple of months ago online and I thought it was priceless. Not priceless as in hilarious,  just...invaluably accurate. Although, not all of us are circles.This, of course isn't just limited to circles, I'm sure further down the wall there were some triangle holes and square holes,  maybe even some nonagonal holes, but the point is, it takes a certain quality to get past certain "walls."

These qualities are what we call privilege. Unlike in this picture,  it isn't so blatantly obvious who has what privilege, but I believe that it boils down the concept of privilege and some basic no no's pretty well.

Insisting something is easy is one of the worst ways that we can impose our privilege on others. Sometimes, it doesn't matter how hard you work or how confident in yourself you are. You will always be a triangle, and that hole will always be circular. There is nothing more aggrivating than having somebody insist that, regardless of your qualities or the issues you face in your life, you have the ability to simply walk through any obstacle in life as if they were tailor made to let you pass. It's like saying every person in every financial situation can afford to buy a house, or that anybody can get married without any issues, or that under every employer equal work means equal pay. None of these are true, but so many times we find ourselves slipping up by assuming that things are as easy for everyone else as they are for us.

Be mindful of who you are and what you say to others, because the cruel reality is that we don't have equal opportunity across the board. That's the basic concept of privilege. 

Sometimes that's a little hard to get, but I feel as if this comic does a really great job of simplifying it so I had to share.

Thoughts?

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